5 Tips to Dating Bisexuals

hi so today I will be giving five tips to dating bisexuals I'm gonna do that as soon as I mentioned today's videos brought you by my latest book a nonfiction book called how to win the love game and I'll talk more about that at the end the video until then let's talk about the five tips for to dating bisexuals and I'll start this off by saying the reason why I'm giving this is because I have did bisexuals I did a number on now and there are things that I wish that I knew when dating them and honestly they're probably some things that the women I've dated should have known before they started dating me probably made things a lot easier so here are the five tips I would give you for when you are dating a bisexual number one ask when they first realized they were attracted to multiple genders and if they've acted on their feelings why do I ask why do I give this as a tip because bisexuals go through something I would refer to as a second adolescence we all go through the first adolescence usually between the ages of like 12 and like 16 but the thing with bisexuals is that if you have not embraced your bisexuality at that time period that means you've only gone through adolescence towards one gender so you if you're a male and you're like and you initially you know thought you only liked females or pretending you and like females then you're gonna go through that phase of you know figuring out how to date them how to interact with them how do you know what's your role is a male society blah blah blah adolescence you know at lessons but if you later on realize that oh you are also attractive the same gender then you will have to then figure out all the same things with the other gender and that is basically a second adolescence so what you're doing is you're asking them when they realize they had a multiple trip attraction multiple genders in which case you can start to figure out whether or not they went through the adolescence at the same time as you know when an adolescent period or when they start acting on it which was another indicator and the reason why you would ask this is because it's a lot easier to deal with things if you know why they're happening so adolescence is that time we you know a person is feeling extremely insecure they don't know how they're supposed to interact with each other they don't they're trying to figure out dating and a lot of stuff so if you're a person let's say that you were a lesbian and you have gone through your adolescence when you were an adolescent and you started getting up bisexual woman and she is going through her adolescence as she's dating you then this is something you should know because knowing it allows you to better accept what's going on and then also you know act maturely as your partner you know starts doing the same so yeah ask those questions because it helps you figure out what stage they're in with their acceptance of self and their sexuality number two don't accept bisexuality as an excuse to cheat okay if you're a guy and you're dating a girl and that girl is Sartre gets drunk and starts kissing other girls that is not something that's acceptable it doesn't matter if she's come out as bisexual doesn't matter if she's acknowledged her bisexuality does not matter if you have a problem with that then you have a right to feel have a problem with that if you're a wife and your husband suddenly decides they're bisexual and then they need to explore their bisexuality if you're okay with that then go for then you know give them permission whatever but the point is that you don't have to do it because they are bisexual because you've both made a commitment commitments mean something even if it's like an imply commitment they have to follow that commitment and if they want to alter that spoken or unspoken contract they need to talk to you about it you guys need to negotiate out what will work best for both of you so yeah ii don't accept their bisexuality as an excuse for their cheating never do it number three if they identify as queer expect the unexpected because here's the thing bisexuality bisexual is already a huge umbrella it covers people who are you know largely except attractive the opposite gender while minimally extracted the same gender or largely the same gender and minimal eats the other gender or people who are sexually attracted one gender and and only romantically track the other gender and vice versa or people who have feelings for one gen at one point it all fluctuates and is all fluid it covers quite a bit and umbrella term however queer is a much much broader umbrella term and it covers people say it covers you know different sexual orientations but it doesn't really because straight people could be queer gay people could be queer bisexuals to be queer so it it barely it doesn't really cover who you're attracted to but people who are queer also use it to describe how strong their sexual attraction are meaning that if you are asexual you could use the queer where to to identify yourself as so when a person says they're queer they could be referring to the fact that they're asexual or if a person says they're queer they could be referring the fact that they have kinks like leather people tend cuz sometimes identify as queer or they could be using it to refer to how they feel about their their gender identity or they could be using it to refer to I don't know just anything at all they could be using queer in any way and what I discovered is they could be using queer to specifically refer to their attraction to my gender is only being romantic and not sexual so when a person calls themself queer you can't continue to believe that they follow the same rules that you follow in society they are specifically being vague using this exceptionally vague term maybe probably to give themself leeway so that they can explore who they are now that's not me that they're cheating although they could be calling themselves queer because they are polyamorous or they're into multi gender or multiple genders at the same time you know it could be anything it really could be but it doesn't mean anything specifically and they could be saying that they're queer in order to give themself some leeway for in the future for them to say something else or leeway for them to explore other things in the future so you know yes they could be attracted to you in your gender in the future that perhaps they're not but the point is when they say they're queer you can't have any expectations that burned me multiple times and I'll quickly tell you how I have dated you know women who I've identified as queer bisexuals are identified as square and bisexuals who I've identified as either straight or just they just assumed their restraint or nothing at all and I gotta say every queer bisexual woman I've dated it ended up exploding in some way I am a very reasonable guy I am very conscientious and stuff like that but yet because I assumed heteronormativity when I was dating the specific bisexual woman things have gone terribly terribly wrong because they were saying they're queer because they had you know sexual and romantic attractions that then line up and I didn't know that and I assumed that they when they said they're bisexual they just meant you know they're attracted to both genders maybe not equally but at least we'd agreed that would allow for relationship when no so the thing I wish I knew that most was the fact that when a person says they're queer it does not mean anything specifically and you have to expect the unexpected and go into it knowing that really they're being vague for a reason number four on that same point pay attention to the sexual identity that they use because they are telling you something when they tell you that sexual identity even when they don't realize they are if let's say that you are a let's say mature a a male and the female you're with has clearly indicated that they have an attraction to both genders but they call themselves straight what does that tell you that tells you that they have not yet dye douve into the deep water of sexual identity and understanding and stuff like that and odds are very good that there at some point in the future going to go through that second adolescence which means that you are going to have to brace yourself for a second adolescence and all the things that comes with adolescence and you know trying to figure out whether you deserve to have you know same-sex relationships whether or not you can have them should have them your insecurities it comes with them so if you are some with someone who identifies an opposite-sex relationship with someone who's clearly attracted to multiple genders but yet they call themselves straight you can know that adolescents for them is coming at some point maybe when you're in the relationship with them maybe it's in the future you don't know but that's the stage they're at same way Buhari let's say a lesbian woman or bisexual woman who is you know had some sort of experience being alleged of the same sex and then you date a bisexual woman who identifies as gay yeah odds are that they are in the midst of going through their adolescence because they haven't yet come to terms with who they are and they haven't given enough thought into it yet so you know their their sexual identity tells you something about what's going through their mind same way that if a person identifies is mostly straight odds are they have given a lot of thought to whether or not they're actually straight or whether nothing gay or even if they're bisexual and they have figured out yeah none of that stuff applies so what specifically applies is them is the term mostly straight and odds are if they put that much thought into it you can trust that and they're that nuanced with it you can trust that they are exactly what they say they are because Ali probably took them a while for them to figure that out same thing to be true if a person identifies as pansexual they identify as pansexual they have looked at the other stuff they have figure out which one best represents who they think they are they're probably saying that they have an attraction towards trans people and non-binary people but on top of that you probably can figure out that they're female because almost no males identified spent sexual but also that female has is most likely to date a male who knew who knew that people who identified as pansexual more likely to date men who knew but that is the case or they're non-binary or they're trans person but if there are female identified assists female then odds are they are more interested in dating or more likely to date a male if they are a if they identify as bisexual and I don't like this particular fact if they are a male in a dating situation they identify as bisexual in a dating situation it's most likely because they're giving some indication they have strong feelings for men hey I was a bisexual male who in dating situations identified as bisexual and the women responded not well and that's when I started to figure out okay well that's probably because the men they interact with who identify as bisexual in this type of situation have stronger attractions to other men so if you are a male and you're on a specifically dating situation now keep in mind that this is not life like this read there's times when we are more specific more specific and when we can be general like if you just like normal life we refer to self is bisexual then what does it matter but there are times when you have to be more specific like there are times when you say oh I'm just from New York but what does that mean are you born in New York or have you did you grow up in New York did you go to college in New York like what does that mean you not to be specific but if you're filling out your tax forms you got to be specific so generally speaking call yourself bisexual but in a dating situation if you're male you're indicating that you have a stronger attraction to men or release a very strong attraction to men if you are saying that you are bisexual dating situation and what I've found that if you are a female like on dating sites odds are you're referring to yourself as bisexual because you are interested in some sort of relationship with another woman I wish that was not the case it would make it so much easier for me to find bisexual but what it is I've talked a bunch of people I've experienced myself female is on a dating site and they indicate they're bisexual they're doing that because they're trying to attract other women they're trying to indicate they are bisexual but they're specifically trying to attract other women oh well maybe we'll change in five years hopefully it will but this is how it kind of works right now and if a person is identifying as no label if that means they are smack bam in the middle of going through second adolescence so they're paying attention to the sexual identities they use because they're trying to tell you something about themselves which is helpful for you to know and number five ask don't assume ask if they if you if they say to them if they say to you that you're bi said that they're bisexual ask them what they mean by that ask them if they are equally attracted to both to multiple genders romantically and sexually ask if they have a sexual desire at all ask if if they have had the same ratio of attraction their entire lives you got to ask these things and honestly if they get flustered in their answer it means that they haven't given that enough thought to it yet they haven't quite landed on what is their thing or that things are fluid and that itself tells you something about them that they're probably going through their adolescence as you're talking to them which is not bad which is not good it's just something that if you know you can keep in mind and make things easier hey I have there been a number of times where if I would known this stuff here it would have been easier on me quick story another quick story I I at one point was playing tennis with somebody I wasn't attracted I'm a female and every Sunday we would go and every Sunday she would end up wearing these things short short skirts and short short shorts and she would kept laughing at my jokes and she kept giving me a smile and give me that look until the point where I was I became attracted to her and then I thought okay well she's obviously giving me these signs I should ask her out I asked her out and she just the response her response was so disproportionate to the simple thing that I was asking that it really freaks me out and things kind of just like dropped I just dropped dropped her um but later on we found out that she was hitting on women on on a social networking site and I thought okay well she was lesbian then later on I realized no I was not an idiot yes she was flirting with me but she was clearly a person was bisexual who was going through a phase where she didn't exactly know what was going on she was going through that adolescence phase and if I would have known that if I had some inkling that that was a thing it would have made such a difference in a my relationship with her and B my understanding of who I was in so many things so many times I if I would have just known that bisexuals go through these things and it was better to ask people about their sexual orientation so don't assume stuff if I would have known that I'd have had easier other relationships and honestly women would have had easier and actually I guess some guys would have had easier relationships with me as well so I hope this was helpful to you in your relationship with bisexuals in the future and if you like this and you'd like to support this channel you could always check out my book how to win the love game in the book I talk about the biological ways we fall in love ways we stay in love how we can help people to fall in love with us and how we can rekindle a relationship that might be kind of falling out of love using science using hormones using neuro chemicals I talk about it I do it in a very easy to follow easy-to-read way it's available that book is available in paper bags available in eBook and also is available in an audiobook which I read myself so if you want to check it out and support it in just a couple of dollars and you might learn something interesting that you could take into your next relationships with AI multiple times talk about stuff from a viola bisexual perspective so hey it might be very helpful for you um you can also check out my t-shirts on Amazon I have very popular brands as might this is I think currently the most popular bisexual t-shirt on Amazon you can check out my lapel pins the heart the word pride you can check out my pop sockets my bisexual pop sockets I have pansexual colors bisexual asexual I even have some of the gay flag colors um and also you can check out my MMF bisexual romances which I can proudly say have all been bestsellers and apparently are all available for $0.

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