Imma need you to pretend for a minute that you can't hear that dog Can you just pretend for me? I made a video recently about a bad experience I had with a therapist And I would kind of like to make a little bit of a video response to myself The response was overwhelmingly positive and supportive and incredible and I loved it.
but another thing happened that deeply, deeply upset me In the comments I read a lot of stories from you guys about similar experiences with your therapists.
And not just with sexuality, just life stuff in general.
And that makes me extremely sad and also very angry, as a person.
I also received a few messages from people saying that this video made me scared to reach out for help, and it made me scared to actually finally take that step, and that is not what I wanted to do with that video.
I will sing the praises of talk therapy until my dying breath.
I believe it is so valuable, and I personally have gotten so much out of it in my life but it's a lot like dating, and a lot of people say that, but it's very true, uh, if you don't have the right person that you're seeing then it's either going to be not great or it's gonna be bad.
It could be really bad.
I also got people who were feeling sorry for me, and that's definitely not what I wanted to happen.
I didn't want to make that video for people to feel bad for me and my experience.
I don't normally like to put people "on blast" and, uh, I tried to be as empathetic as possible to this therapist because I know that no harm was meant by what was said, but harm was done by what was said.
I think when most people slip up they don't do it with the intention of hurting someone, I think very, very few people exist that actually want to hurt people out there, but of course your opinions can be damaging to people, and the way that you handle situations can hurt people.
And it's important for people to recognize that and to talk about it.
I appreciate the anger on my behalf, but like I said in the video, I'm fine by it all.
I am personally not really phased by it, it was really just more a blip for me, but it's a blip that is apparently a lot more significant than I personally am experiencing.
I'm not gonna lie, I cried reading some of the comments that I got from you guys because I was just so deeply upset at the idea of someone supposed to be helping you, making things worse for you.
That just hurt me at a very deep level, because I know how vulnerable you can get, especially in therapy when you're out there and you want to get better and you're trying to do something proactive in your life and then to have that kind of reverse and smack you in the face and put you further down it's just completely just disgusting in my mind.
So here's what I want to say to people who have had negative expiriences with therapists when it comes to their sexuality or when it comes to just anything at all that they're dealing with: Please don't let this convince you that getting help is a wrong choice for you, because it's not.
One of my favorite cliches is "progress is not a straight line" I love that one so much.
I'm a perfectionist, I always want to get better at all times, I always want to be better today then I was yesterday and better tomorrow than I am today, I always want that.
But that's not realistic, you know, people are gonna have good days, they're gonna have bad days, they're gonna take steps back sometimes, they're gonna move forward other times.
It's just, you can't really predict it.
I am truly, deeply, and utterly sorry that there are people out there who, inadvertently maybe, make you feel worse about who you are.
Cause even if you don't have anything figured out, even if you're deeply confused about who you are, and who you like, and what's going on with you, you are still fine and you are still okay.
You don't need to know anything, you don't have to have any answers about anything at all all you have to do is just put one foot in front of the other and figure things out one day at a time.
I have "trust the process" tattooed on my arm, and that is a phrase that I got from a really good therapist.
And it's something that's really important to me, because every single thing about you as a person and your life is a process.
Nothing just happens overnight.
Nothing just happens right away.
Nothing happens just 'cause somebody told you that that's how you should feel.
And a therapist's job is not to tell you how to feel, it's to guide you towards figuring that out for yourself.
And I think that a lot of people don't get that.
That;s pretty much all I wanted to talk about in this video.
If you missed the video that I am kind of responding to, you can check it out.
The link will be in the description.
It will also be annotated on my face right now.
But that's about it for me, if you have thoughts you can always leave them in the comments, I love you a lot, I'm gonna get off of here, and I will see you on Friday.
I'm wearing a shirt right now that says "bisexual and still not into you" It was designed by my friend Eliel, you can check out his links on the description.
I'll also link to the store where you can get this shirt, he sent it to me for free and it's really nice and fun and awesome and I like the funny stuff about it.
Yeah, bi stuff.
I, uh, I love you a lot and uh, yeah.
Hope you're having a wonderful day, goodbye.