Oh god okay here we go.
Hello guys so I'm officially one year post-op top surgery.
A year ago today I went to the Nuffield Hospital in Brighton and had top surgery with Mr.
For any UK people curious I had my surgery on the NHS and it took 11 months from my initial referral to surgery.
So this is it.
A lot of people are kind of taken back when they first look at my chest because they're expecting the big scars underneath.
That is because the technique I had was called peri areolar.
In my book I did a little diagram I know cheeky plug Trans Mission available now, no yeah, I did a diagram This is the most professional video making I've ever done.
There you go, so the hard line here that's your nipple the dotted lines are the incisions basically they cut two circles one like slightly inside the nipple and one outside They take away all the tissue in between then they kind of suck out all the moob Then kind of like a drawstring bag they close it up and boom you're done.
I'm gonna put a link down below to a playlist of my top surgery experience.
I documented everything; the pre appointments the actual surgery itself, and then the healing process afterwards.
I'm really proud of that little series, so please go check it out.
Anyway twelve months later here we are.
Honestly I could not be happier with the result it looks amazing it's the proudest part of my body having this chest is amazing I don't have to worry about what I'm wearing or my binder showing through my clothes.
For the first time I could wear vests or v-necks or unbuttoned shirts without feeling uncomfortable, and that's so amazing.
Although I must admit it's kind of shocking how much you say you're gonna do after surgery that you just don't do.
I remember I was so excited to go swimming I haven't been swimming yet 12 months later nah.
Throughout the healing process my left side was my more swollen side and you can't really tell now to be honest.
If the light hits my chest funny or I flex in certain ways flex like I've got any muscles to flex.
Yeah if I kind of tense up in certain ways you can kind of see that it's a little bit lumpy I'm not sure why I'm not sure if that's tissue left behind or just the fact that I have zero muscles, or if it's just a little bit of swelling that is still there.
I've heard the swelling can sometimes stay around for years, so I don't know.
But honestly it really doesn't bother me it looks amazing.
In terms of sensation I have a lot more of it than I was anticipating.
With peri areola you are a lot more likely to retain nipple sensation and I have.
Although for some reason my left side is a lot more sensitive than my right side and my left side was the more swollen so mmm.
But yeah straight after surgery I had a lot of numbness kind of at the top of my chest and around my chest and obviously my nipple was basically the whole area was numb but now on this side I can feel everything my nipple, the skin around my nipple, whereas on this side I still do have like a band of numbness under my nipple and my nipple I think it's still numb I can't really tell.
Basically if you would come up and like tickle my nipple I wouldn't know.
Please don't do that to me if you meet me.
My next point I think is a result of the numbness and the sensation issues.
So at first I found it really difficult to kind of touch my chest to run my hands across it and I didn't know why.
But as I started regaining sensation I found it easier to do so and I think that's because there's stages of regaining sensation.
So it can be totally numb and that's I think when it's the most weird the next stage is this like sparky kind of sensation it's kind of like pins and needles when you touch it.
And then the next stage is the uber sensitive stage.
It made the whole experience of having a bath and washing my chest really weird.
But I found that if you use one of those scrubby loofah things it's a lot easier.
Ok next I'm a lot more conscious of my body as a whole or at least my torso.
Now that my chest looks great I realize there's some work I need to do and there's a reason the camera is like this.
I mean I guess I'm happy not having a six-pack, but my waist kind of really annoys me.
It's not exactly feminine but it's not straight and really defined like I'd like it to be.
I'm not sure if that's a dysphoria thing or just a body confidence thing.
The fact is I'm too lazy to go work out I don't have enough time I'm too tired blablabla poor me.
It's my fault it's my issue I'm dealing with it so it's fine.
So the healing process I was a pretty good boy.
I didn't do too little and I didn't do too much.
It's the Goldilocks thing you have to make it just right.
If I were to do too much I would hurt myself too little and my body would just kind of lock up and everything would feel tight.
But I think overall I kind of nailed it despite not doing the exercises I was told to do.
When you get discharged from the hospital they give you a little sheet of all these little exercises like I don't know rolling your shoulders and doing a load of other bits.
Yeah, I did it for the first few days, but then after that it got boring I just didn't do it I'm sorry I felt like my day-to-day life compensated for not doing the exercises, so I guess it's personal.
But there are no bad things to come of doing the exercises, so I definitely recommend doing them.
Don't be like me I was just lucky.
My nips do actually respond to temperature changes.
In cold weather they do become erect.
Although they are just naturally a little bit more perky anyway.
And I have to say one nipple is a lot more nipple like than the other.
My right nipple it kind of looks like a candle like someone's got a lighter and just kind of melted it a little bit and it's boop.
Finally I want to talk about scars because like I said at the beginning as soon as people see me they go ah you're so lucky you don't have scars.
Yes I don't have really visible scars, but I do have scars they're around my nipples they're there.
Again I was just very lucky my scars healed and they are relatively flat and because they're so close to my nipples they just kind of blend in and you can't really tell they're there.
So going down the scar route people say you shouldn't expose your chest to direct sunlight for a while after surgery.
Again I was a good boy I didn't do that.
If you do it can make your scars a lot darker and a lot puffier.
It was annoying cuz we had a ridiculously nice summer and by the time summer did roll around my chest kind of looked like this it looked healed.
But I know it was best not to and I didn't.
So yeah that is my chest.
I didn't do a lot of comparison videos throughout the year just because there's not really a lot to see.
It would have been a lot different if I'd have had double incision but do you really need to see this every month I don't think so.
I'm so thankful for not having to worry about my chest every day.
It's a lot better for my health not having to bind.
And this helps massively in forgetting that I'm trans.
Because as proud as I am of my trans identity sometimes I just don't want to think about it.
Okay guys I hope you found this video interesting, I love you, and I will see you next week.
Shush, can hear my cat? You want to be in a video fine? Hello, this is the little demon distracting everybody.
How you doing Blue cat? This is my video stop.