Transgender Boy: Kai, Age 14 – Filmed for 5 years


you see that just to let everyone know this is my best mate trans people kind of have to grow up more quickly and mature more quickly so I'm just used to hanging around with people that are older because I get along with them I should be starting T

start of next year yeah so I came out when I was 9 I was like quite young when I started blockers puberty blockers give people like Chi more time to solidify their gender identity without developing secondary sex characteristics I had an appointment recently at the Tavistock in London

and our second appointment is in the second day I go back to school I'm hoping for the blockers just to make the whole package it's makes the whole package really make me happy and that will be that I'll be perfect if it's too late there's no point of

getting blockers because everything's gonna grow any way it needs to happen soon because otherwise it's not going to change anything it it's not going to work so I need to think quick and they need to think quick if someone asked me if I am on testosterone or blockers

I'm currently on blockers I'll be on testosterone when I'm 14 or 16 if Chi decides not to transition his puberty blockers can be reversed by stopping treatments there's obviously people at school that grow in some facial hair you know get in some guns but obviously I do feel

like I'm falling behind a little bit like with my puberty but I mean it's only a little bit left to a start to so I'm not really worrying about it I've been on TV for a year and three months now I think so I was still on the

blocker and still auntie at the same time so it was a bit confusing while they were doing that but now I'm on the full dose so started growing my facial hair on the sides a little bit actually you can't really see it my friends have like their bids

now and I'm just watching them grow up and turning into man and I just want to like be on the same level as them I've managed to I guess get used to that bat feeding I mean I always knew that there was something wrong but because it wasn't

like so open and out there as it is now I didn't really know what it was called and then had a counselor and the only reason I who had the confidence to come out was because of him he said draw how you feel because I wasn't the best

at talking about my emotions and talking about how I feel so I just drew down me River Willy and he showed my mother my mom obviously didn't want to say anything to me in case I was just been an idiot and she didn't want to put words into

my mouth so she waited and then about a month later I told her soon as I told her he just got off my chest and I was fine and then she just like helps me I mean I do wish it was earlier but I'm proud that I even

came out at 9 I was completely crapping myself like when I when I went into her room I honestly thought that it was going to be the end of our relationship and then for her to be like oh I already knit who I was just waiting for you

to tell me and I was like you've literally made me give myself waiting for me to be able to tell you and you already know and then when I told my sister we went to yo sushi it's my favorite place the star you'd be a boy and I'm

glad and proud of what you've turned out to be and in the future we're gonna what's gonna happen next I've always liked grown-up like being a boy but I never really knew anything about like like a Tom that's what I was obviously I first I think got spoken

about it in school and assembly and then obviously I watched your video before I came out I was there for only a month I wanted to get it like just out as soon as possible because there was no point in for me personally to wait for it to

make relationships and then tell them where I used to go a club he told my form and then everyone started talking about it and now the whole school knows so I was f like a month made a few friends and then when I told them they were all

just fine with it so from that point I knew that it was going to be fine like school wise because I was I was so scared I moved from Cheltenham the boys discussed binders which helped to flatten the chest the other – she got a binder that son

like a half one it's made me feel a bit like weird because it feels like a bra I like having my stomach tucked in yeah when I was with my ex she when my binder was rubbing in she's like put cream on it I think that was the

kind of realization when I knew that like I could have like trust and also she trusted not trusting me but like kind of wasn't awkward to kind of do them things because some people would be like I'm not touching that or like I'm not like doing that so

it's it's good to get that a sense of like so that they actually like you but shows they care as well the middle finger icon I just call it the top story yes and bottom I'm just been out running around crazy one in there going on dogs every

morning going on drugs without the top four hairy legs would be a tattoo artist or a ambulance driver they're quite different things but now I don't even know why I want to be any more the main reason I want to be a tattoo artist is because I just

love toes I want to be covered it's like I want to my neck down to my ankles and then I want to get some of my toes done I think I'm gonna wait to your tattoo artists to get my first tattoo done got another four years [Music] [Applause]

you're right just wanted to ask you about like tea and everything and who you want blockers when you were younger yeah I think I was about 12 when did you sort t just pour my 16th birthday January this year I started on the treatment of hormone blockers which

this stops all in like the hormones and everything going through I have to take them every four weeks and it feels so much better now because you feel like you've kind of stopped and that means you can carry on as yourself and you don't have to like go

through all the things that like biological females would have to how many times it just occurs let's have us talking stuff too many it is such a long process so have you been to the museum I've never been to museums I thought she wanna know guys hi hi

I'm a Jane lovely to meet you and welcome to the Museum of transology we've got here in the gallery the largest collection of objects and stories in a museum in the world that relate to trans lives it's real trans people's stories by them about them one of my

favorites is the one that was actually done by Fox that says gender roles are dead and it's incredibly popular we are part of this movement of protest that we're still struggling for equal rights that we still want to share our experiences and that we're brave enough to do

it quite boldly and like put it on our t-shirts have you ever seen anything like this in a museum before no yeah and that's I think that's the point isn't it like unless we have collections like this then the only way people are going to find out about

trans lives are through the media right and we need our voices to be heard if you recognize what these are especially yeah even though they're all hormones every single story is different and you guys have had experiences as well that are quite unique with your hormone taking haven't

you you're about to start and before your hormones did you you started with your blockers when I was 9 the best thing and honey are you excited about the fact that you're nearly 16 then yeah what are you most excited about I'm probably most excited about my voice

deepening and my beard growing starting on that puberty that you're supposed to be on and then you feel that that's white for you that is you and that's been the best part it's such a different experience from what I went through I came out it as trans about

25 years ago or something and the struggle that I went through having to get my hormones on the black market you know not being able to get medical attention being forced to have psychotherapy and then as well having to fight what my body had already done to me

you know and work backwards instead of being positive about moving forwards Taylor sees a donation to the museum from his friend Chrissy Bentley who died by suicide here we've got our Chrissy's heart which i think is really importantly been kept here it keeps that history and that memory

and what I think it's really interesting about it is that she's chosen to give us her boys cap because he didn't need it anymore and she makes a joke about it so there's that side of Chrissy that we can remember that's not just the sadness of her passing

actually the memory that we've got protected is her being funny and cheeky as well of course obviously everyone's got that and kind of non-physical memory of just what a wonderful person she was but then you also kind of get that physical history and 94 as well I'm so

grateful to her that she could that's such an important object for her you know it marks such a significant time in her career so yeah her memory lives on because of it Fox is probably the reason that I actually had the confidence to come up so yeah just

seeing these it's really good I remember wearing one of these the first part I went to as well they trans pride what's trans pride main to you well why does it mean a lot I can be myself I don't have to worry about obviously who's looking at me

what everyone's thinking it's also good to see everyone that you don't usually get to see all the time mmm that goes specifically to go there so yeah you're kind of celebrating the whole time of just being you're kind of unique self and everyone being together celebrating that yeah

just kind of having the confidence I go out there and say I'm here this is me and like this is all of us together I think it's my happiest day of the year it's my trans Christmas just seeing everyone so positive and like you say just so many

different people there's not one trans you know yeah just like this collection right we're a really diverse group of people with really diverse experiences and sometimes when they come all together you just feel stronger knowing you're part of a big trans community by remembering that we have made

progress we can feel empowered to move forward and keep going and I feel very very hopeful meeting guys like you that we have a positive bright trans future when we're given the space and we listen to and we're allowed to control it ourselves I feel very positive you

are the future so I have to stand on my tippy toes guys thanks so much for coming next step is that I want something from both of you okay excellent okay well I'm looking forward to that all right it's a promise yeah yeah great okay guys I reckon

just two people that out there even if you know you're scared and like it's hard for you the best thing for yourself is just to tell whoever you're with one is like the most heaviest weight lifted off your shoulders even if like your mom or your dad or

your carrot doesn't accept it like there is so many people that will you can message you you [Music]

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